M + W

30 08 2006

Communication.

Let me just say that it is very important. Very important.  Can I say that more plainly?  We’ve all heard the statistic that says that women express twice as many words each day men do.  It behooves us guys to be a part of that torrent of information.  Why?  Talking is a bonding process.  It is how relationships are formed, maintained, and repaired.  Building a lasting bond requires daily communication.

When I was in the military, I went to tech school in Biloxi, MS. I had a friend whom I shared a particular bond with from home who wrote me letters.  I wrote her back.  After a while, my friend Maryanna would write to me almost every day, and I would write back. I even remember mailing out two letters to her on the same day.  We called when we could and talked for hours.  When I completed tech school, I was stationed in Omaha, NE.  We wrote less and called more.  We talked late into the night and I was usually wrecked for work the next day.  But that didn’t stop me from calling again the next night.  Some weekends I would drive 8 hours up to see her and spend the weekend.  Eventually I proposed and we got married.  I feel like our bond was stronger because we spent so much time getting to know each other.

Today we spend a lot of time talking to one another.  In fact, we are both a bit passive-aggressive, so that our punishment to each other is the silent treatment.  “What’s wrong?” “Nothing.”  “You sure?” “Yep.”   It’s those times in particular when talking things out makes a difference.  I can usually get a positive resolution to a conflict if I am patient and continue to coax the problem out.  A kind word is one of the most powerful tools for fixing and keeping a relationship healthy.


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