11 10 2006

Why does the phrase “I slept like a baby.” mean a peaceful night’s rest? I have an infant and thats not how it is. When I say “I slept like a baby.” it means, “I pooped myself and woke up crying.”

Why do cats look so serious when they are using the litter box? Just staring straight ahead, focused. My cat was doing his biz the other day and I put one of those “magic eye” pictures in front of him. He saw the sailboat right away.

Here’s why I like cats instead of dogs: They may do their business in the same stance, but a cat will try to cover it up like it’s a claymore. A dog will just run around in circles until he steps in it.

I tried an energy drink the other day, and by the time I got that awful taste out of my mouth, I was exhausted.

Two skunks tied togeather by the tail would make the stinkiest pair of nunchuks.

Do aliens exist? I don’t know. But whoever is abducting me from my bed at night and dumping me in a field 30 miles away, I would like you to stop.

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