In praise of The Karate Chop.

17 10 2006

Because I have a forum to state my ideas publicly and because so many of my contemporaries use this powerful tool as a means of waxing nostalgically about their halcyon days of youth and how much things suck now as compared to then… I say “why not?” and decide to follow suit.

Ladies and Gentlemen, when I was young, there was a method, a technique really, for dealing with disagreements, scientific inquiry, philosophical conundrums, and thin wooden boards. A time tested approach for solving life’s problems big and small. This was simply known as “the karate chop”. What better way to emphasize a point than with a with the ancient wisdom of the orient.
“Let me have your sandwich.”
“But I don’t want to–” KARATE CHOP!

“Interesting theory, Bradford, but you failed to factor in–” KARATE CHOP!

“Is there a problem officer?”
“Yeah… This guy here says you assaulted–” KARATE CHOP!

I say, lets bring back the mighty Karate Chop! Yes the perfect punctuation to any sentence, the karate chop is as elegant as it is graceful. Hold out your hand and extend your fingers. ooooh the power, feel the power. The mere threat of a karate chop is often enough. Nobody wants a vicious open hand slice to the neck or the hamstrings.
Next time you are in an already boring meeting that is running long, flash ’em the old, Karate Chop sign. That will wrap things up in a hurry. Or if someone is taking to long in line ahead of you. Whack! A shot to the trapezius should speed grandma up a little bit. As far as I am concerned, The karate chop will reign supreme, at least until they perfect the Rocket Punch.

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One response

8 01 2007
Taekwondo Forms

I agree with you, KARATE CHOP!

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