Bitter Bear

23 10 2006

For the sake of arguement, lets just say that I am someone who lets things bother me.  Now please, pull yourselves up off the floor and come back to the computer for a moment.   I’m not sure when it started but throughout the years I have become, shall we say,a bit jaded. Perhaps  a bit negative.  Perhaps that stupid glass looks like it’s less than half empty,  what the hell!?  Hey I was told this glass would have a decent amount of  liquid!  I’m getting ripped off here!!   And besides, this glass is really ugly.

Yeah so one of the things I have found out in life is that when you look a things this way all the time, it begins to take a negative toll on all aspects of your life.   What happens?   You start to return sarcasm for sincereity,  resentment for contentment, and a general opposition to everything you encounter.  The only thing that doesn’t make you upset is someone more bitter than you.  And when you spend each day fighting against the current of everything that bothers you,  it takes its toll on you.   Physically and mentally.    Eventually it will wear you down so much, you won’t even recognize yourself anymore.  I was once “the kid who smiles all the time”   and now  I’m  “watch what you say around him,  He’s got a snide remark for everything”     That’s not the guy I want to be.

Ironically or perhaps sadly,  I know that happiness is a choice.  There is no item, dollar amount, job, sexual encounter, vehicle, or piece of property that will make me happy.   It is me making the choice every day to enjoy, who I am, what I have, who I’m with, and what  I do.   That is happiness.   So if I’m not happy about who I am.  (And obviously if I have a problem with the rest of the world, the problem is really with me.)   Then  I need to make peace and accept myself  first.    Forgive myself for all the stupid things, the mistakes,  the wrong words,  the regretable actions.   Let them go.   And then make the choice.  Give up the bitterness.  Be grateful for the glass and it’s liquidy goodness.  Know that I am loved and  I have a lot of things to appreciate.

So with that revelation,  I venture forward, down the path of joy, towards being a better person.


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2 responses

28 10 2006
Ryan Hagen

I find that Usher makes me want to punch you in the face sometimes, so then I just take usher out and replace it with something actually worth listening to like, Prince, Quiet Riot, Wasp, or maybe even some good ol marky mark and the funky bunch. Then I smile and remember, you’re a nice guy, who treats me nicely, so I will treat you nicely and then everything will be nice. Isn’t that nice?

28 10 2006
Phil

As usher would say… “YEAH!”

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