Hard-Boiled

31 10 2006

The night was hotter than a three-peckered billy goat. The kind of hot that would make you beg for your own sweat mixed with two fingers of lacquer thinner and a cocktail olive just to cool down. I finish a scotch and soda, and start a new one.  The only case I had at the moment was a mild case of rickets and I wasn’t interested in doing any real work. At least not until she walked through my door. She was tall, and either liked to eat spinach or just carried around a bag of it for comfort.  Her eyes travelled around the room, stopping to look at my stuffed bull walrus then stopping again to size me up.

“Mr. Spanks?” She said.

“Who’s askin'” I say, as I roll a cigarette.

“My name is Sister ‘Hots’ Bonanza, ” She says digging in a small handbag.

“You’re a Sister?”  I ask.

“Yes, and I’m also a nun.”  She pulls a derringer from her purse.  “Now stand up, or I’ll puts some holes in ya.”

An excerpt from my new detective book, THE SHANGHAI NIPPLE FIASCO: A story with a twist.


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