Edward Scissorhands confiscated at Airport

1 11 2006

Monday, Oct 30th.  Chicago.   Private citizen Edward James Scissorhands was cofiscated by TSA security agents while trying to board a plane at O’Hare Airport on Saturday.  Scissorhands had checked in by E-ticket at 8:13 am, and was making his way through the security checkpoint, when TSA screener Marge Mitchell noticed a problem.  “I asked the gentleman to remove any watches, jewelry or loose change from his pockets, but he continued to set off the metal detector.  We had him remove his jacket, which had a lot of buckles and zippers on it, but that didn’t help either.”   Mrs. Mitchell then goes on to say that Mr. Scissorhands was pulled from the line and given “the wand”  to help localize the problem area.  “Thats when I noticed he had huge scissors comin’ out [of] his hands.”     Mr. Scissorhands was asked if he would like to mail his hands back to himself in a personal envelope, but he refused.   “At that point I had no choice but to confiscate him.”   TSA spokesman Joseph Sline said that  it was unfortunate that Mr. Scissorhands tried to take himself on a plane but current FAA requirements don’t allow any sharp objects on commercial aircraft.  “It’s a matter of public safety,”  Mr. Sline says, “I think it is for the best.”  Mr. Scissorhands is currently placed in a secure location, along with other contraband items.  “He will have a few days to claim himself, and if he doesn’t we will donate him to a local elementary school.”


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