Ask Professor Manticore, ep 1

27 11 2006

Professor Manticore,
I am going on vacation for a week and I don’t have anyone to watch my cat. What should I do?

The answer seems quite obvious to me. Get a new cat when you get back from your trip.

Professor Manticore, How can you justify splicing the DNA of dangerous creatures together to make an even more dangerous hybrid?

Easy. I get paid a lot of money to do it. Plus, I get a tremendous feeling of satisfaction seeing a crab-wolf rip a man to shreds.

Professor Manticore, given current fluctuations in the market, Is now a good time to buy a house?

Thank-you for your stupid question. Buying a house is downright ridiculous. It is a pointless activity reserved for the mindless sheep who would rather sit home and patiently await their imminent enslavement. I would instead recommend buying something more practical like a stockpile of weapons, or hire some henchmen. Better still, buy a surplus Soviet T-55 tank. Hell, you could even live inside it if you needed to.

If you have questions for Professor Manticore, please post them in the comments section.

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