Tips for dealing with a bad mood.

7 02 2007

I woke up today in a particulary foul mood and I thought it would be good for me to share with you my tips on how to deal with a bad mood.

1. Get in touch with your feelings. You’re pissed. Feel your anger. Let it soak over you. Grit your teeth. Furrow your brow. Clench your fists. Say “Grrrrr!” Feels good, right?

2. Ok, now figure out why you are angry. What put you in that mood? Was it a particular event or person or thing? That idiot listening to his iPod at Skid Row concert levels. The moron who loves her Pussycat Dolls Cell phone ringtone so much that she’s gonna listen to the whole thing. The dog… that stupid, stupid dog. Visualize all these annoyances plummeting off a steep waterfall. Aaah, that feels better.

3. Like the flu or inspirational e-mails about the cute-but-improbable things 6 year olds say to us stodgy adults, a bad mood must be shared with others. Find somebody happier than you, which shouldn’t be difficult. Now say to them “What’s it like, being that stupid?” Then knock something of theirs off their desk. If it breaks, bonus points.

4. Keeping the bad mood train going down the tracks and headed for that basket of kittens requires energy. I recommend high energy foods that contain large amounts of artificial flavors, sweeteners and unused chunks of rabbit and horse meat. My favorite? Twinkies.

5. Your mood should be improving now. If not, Binge eat, call your ex while drunk, punch a lobster, play hopscotch with a transvestite, start a stupid blog that you’ll write in for about two months and realize nobody is reading it and quit, or kidnap an astronaut and blame it on “Space Madness.”

Good luck to you and I hope your mood improves.

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5 responses

13 02 2007
the artist known as Eve

i’m going to try this method next time i wake up feeling the bad funk… i hope i don’t get fired.

13 02 2007

Don’t forget the “Space Madness”. Oh… wait. I never promised you would keep your job. The method is very cathartic however.

2 01 2009

This article should be on that list

2 01 2009
Professor Manticore

I hope I helped.

31 01 2012
DR Jam

Thanks, for the moment of smile. If only, that feeling would go away for a bit longer…

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