Notes on Revenge.

6 03 2007

While humans are not unique in the animal kingdom for their ability to harbor a grudge. They, like the circus elephant, white Bengal tiger and, the wily, wily marmoset, have been known to wait years for the perfect opportunity to enact a terrible and glorious revenge. Why would someone wait so long when the opportunity to cut a brake cable, throw an icicle laden slush ball, or lock the keys in the company car would provide immediate, if childish, satisfaction? The reason is that humans are uniquely equipped with the ability to savor. We enjoy the planning of a slow, calculating and diabolical plan to progressively drive another human being insane. The months spent sewing costumes, and learning to fence, and developing an immunity to iocaine powder. The late nights studying medical text books and growing out your beard and fingernails, all in anticipation of that one moment when you jump out of the shadows dressed like Chewbacca and wielding a cattle prod. The look of bewilderment, coupled with fear, as you stuff your victim in the trunk of your late model Corolla and drive off in the direction of Fresno, or Ithaca, they don’t know which. All they know, when the drugs wear off, is that they are penniless, homeless and the newest member of an all male-cabaret of revue of DIE HARD: The MUSICAL.

Yes, my friends, Revenge is a dish best served cold.

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3 responses

9 03 2007
Ryan

A 1989 Crown Victoria LTD trunk can hold about 4 bodies comfortably.

9 03 2007
Seth

Astonshing. Revenge notes given from a guy who has himself typecast as Owen Wilson. GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF MAN! Jason Statham. But only when he was in the Transporter. Maybe Transporter 2 but not so much in Crank. mostly because he dies at the end.

9 03 2007
Phil

Hey! it’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for. They’re the ones putting Bullet Ants in your sock drawer and flavoring your sweet tea with tape worm eggs.

“Why am I so hungry all the time?”

Think about it.

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