Project Hellbeast: The Movie

13 03 2007

I have recently begun the early stages of writing what will most assuredly be the world’s greatest movie.  Get ready for PROJECT HELLBEAST!

Somewhere on a remote island, a brilliant, yet attractive scientist has assembled the greatest team of biologists, veterinarians, weapon’s experts and cryptozoologists, all with questionable ethics, in order to complete one mission: To build a monster.  But as they endeavor on their heroic quest, the evil governments of the world send their saboteurs and assassins to disrupt and destroy their plan.  Will the team succeed? And what happens when these monsters are escape?  No one will be safe.

You can take your Citizen Kane, The Godfather, Saving Private Ryan, or Waynes World 2.  This will surely be the reason why sequential images were placed on celluloid and run in front of a projector. I know what you are saying:  But Phil why won’t you return my calls or at least let me take a lock of your hair.  You know about the restraining order, silly.   You are probably also saying: But Phil, you’ve never written a screenplay, and there are a lot of other screenwriters and directors and such that will say you’ll never make it. And plus you don’t have a budget and no one has signed up to act in your movie.  And where can I get tickets?

Easy there.  I haven’t even wrote it yet.  But rest assured you will all have your wildest expectations not only exceeded but your expectations will be smashed with a dynamite sledgehammer and burned with an industrial grade acid. In fact you’re expectations will be so thoroughly devastated and disfigured  that you probably might mistake them for a deep and profound emptiness.

Raise you expectations. Demand to see Project Hellbeast.  Petition the major movie studios to finance the movie.  Write in scenes or characters you want to see in the movie.  It will be worth all your effort, I assure you.


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