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28 03 2007

Hi Everyone,

Sorry, It’s been a while since my last post. The alien overlords demanded a status report and you know how things have to be just perfect with them. “I said 22 human sacrifices, and not all homeless this time!” “Why are we so far behind on the whole ‘Planetary Conquest’ thing?!” “My 2nd Quarterly earning report was stapled in with the minutes from the last meeting. You know I like them separate!” Ugh! What a pain. Well, that’s over. I can get back to what I do best.

Things have been going well over here at the ‘Beast, for the most part. We recently had a big success with Dr. Goethe’s flying scorpion project. We’ve had some big orders already from several prominent super-villains. We hope Dr. Goethe recovers soon  is able to reap the benefits of his hard work.

The bad news is that our new staff psychiatrist  Dr. Snyder-Sunshine informs me that many of you have not shown up for your mandatory  psychological screening, and the ones that did were all suffering from one form or another of acute psychosis and required immediate treatment.  He does say that his treatment for these individuals is going well and the ones who received brain-worm therapy are already back on the job and report no problems, in fact they mindlessly go through their routines without need for food or rest without a care in the world.  Everyone I want you to know how important it is for you to all get the best possible care, so we can all perform at our very best.  Please get screened for mental disorder.  I got mine already… I’m fit as a musk ox.

Oh, and a final note, we’ve recaptured the chainsaw chimp that escaped on Level 9.  The floor won’t be open quite yet, however. Please be patient while we clean up the damage and the bodies.  Thank you.  And for all of you on Level 8 who’ve had to share your facility with the Level 9’ers.  Thank you.

That is all, Now go make a beast!

~ Prof. M. ~


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