Left to my own despicable devices

13 04 2007

The equipment used in creating hybrid animals here at Project Hellbeast isn’t an afterthought. Having state-of-the-art facilities and and a top notch support staff isn’t much good if a Rhino-dactyl breaks free of its containment pen and destroys 70% of your infrastructure by itself. (trust me, I know)

When cobbling together freakish mutants, it is always important to use the right tool for the job. Laser scalpel for cutting sinewy flesh, rib spreader for getting at the gooey center, and bone saw for bones (and also for smashin’ em on the head if they wake up mid-procedure). You also need a lot of forceps, retractors, clamps, and other surgical paraphernalia, as well as an entire pharmacy of medicines and drugs. Having a good library of veterinary medical manuals is important as well. Personnel security equipment is always good to have on hand. Assault rifles, shotguns, pistols, stun guns, prods, wire netting, clubs, rocket propelled grenades, pinking shears, and Mary-Kate and Ashley cosmetic products are all useful in subduing a rampaging beast. Often times a creature will escape and begin murdering your somewhat valuable employees. This is a good time to have your tracking devices as well as thermal imaging and low light cameras to recover your monster. You will also have to find a supplier that provides tranquilizer serum in 55 gallon drums.

Spare parts are always a big part of what it takes to build a better mutant.  Appendages, talons, claws, tails should all be kept on hand to add a little extra pazazz to whatever you are building.  Also animal mounted machine guns, flame throwers, and lasers should not be forgotten.

That should give you enough to get started.  Now go out and make a monster.



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