Project Hellbeast: The Musical

26 07 2007

Music starts. Curtains open on a menacing metal building sits nestled amongst the leafy fronds of the jungle. Strange wild animal noises call to each other in the distance. From the front doors comes the very perky public affairs representative of Project Hellbeast, Karyn Stolke. She sings.

Stolke: Greetings Investors and Friends! Welcome to place where dangerous experiments with mutants and fun never ends!

My name is Karyn Stolke, and I will be your guide today. You will see amazing wonders and mind blowing sights but not until you sign this NDAaaaa!

Chorus: Non Disclosure Agreement!

Stolke: Please wear these goggles, They’re for you’re protection. You must also wear this bio-suit and have all your vaccinations, and a shot of epinephrine, and carry this twelve-gauge, and put on this sun block and then you should be o-kaaaaaaaayyyyy!

Chorus: Liability Release Form!!

Stolke: So c’mon everybody, we’re gonna make some mutants, to terrorize the populace at large! Welcome! — I said— Welcome! (are you listening to me in the back?) Welcome to Project Hell Beeeeeeeeast!!!!!

Curtains close, end of Prelude.


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2 responses

26 07 2007
Katie

Well, it’s about time you came back from the abyss.

*Sing* I’m locked, loaded, and ready to go. So come on and let’s get this show on the road. Signed the release form with blood from mine own vampyrical pen, gave an evil eye squint, took a deep breath and then, started forth into wilderness with horrors unknown. The only sound was shrill laughter, from our guide Karyn Stolke.

27 07 2007
Ryan

Is Usher involved? If not, I can confidently say, this is going to suck.

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