Re: your mission: to make one of these

28 01 2008

Ah, yes. The ubiquitous marshmallow shooter. Just six months ago I was the unfortunate target of one of these devices…..unfortunate that is for the neighbor kid.
Once I began my conquest for the holy grail of all marshmallow guns, the world began to notice a change in the way marshmallows were previously propelled.
I began by rifling a 27″ length of 1″ titanium and coating it entirely with Teflon. PAM cooking spray willl also work for those of you on a budget. I attached this barrel with carbon fiber epoxy to a intricately carve handle made from the horn of a black rhino which I bought on eBay. Much time was spent pondering various propulsion methods and techniques. There were many different propellants available which could theoretically propel a mini marshmallow to speeds of nearly 700 mph. However tests on laboratory animals revealed that at this speed, a mini marshmallow could easily penetrate nearly 4″ of re-enforced concrete and the resulting damage could be disasterous when directed towards a human…..or small neighbor.  The goal was to render unconcious but not to harm, so I ended up fitting a backpack with dual SCUBA tanks and running a hose to a fitting at the back of the barrel. With a squirrels for targets and testing at only 3000 PSI the nearly silent marshmallow projectile is sent accurately at distances of up to 1/2 mile with pinpoint accuracy.

For a complete set of plans, please send $19.95+ S&H to the address of Project Hellbeast Headquarters and your Complete set of Engineers Drawings will be shipped to you in 15-24 weeks.


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