Project Hellbeast Guide to Personal Entertainment

16 03 2008

The pervasiveness of the modern gadget in our lives has led to many new forms of personal entertainment.  You can hardly find somebody that doesn’t carry a cell phone or own a portable gaming system or even have one of those hula girl tattoos on their bicep.  The fact is we are constantly being entertained. We spend billions each year on escaping our own harsh realities and being amused in some form or another– and that’s not to mention mind altering drugs.

To be a savvy consumer in this world wide marketplace of entertainment, you should be informed as to what products or services give you the most bang for your buck, so to speak.  That is yet another reason why you turn to Project Hellbeast–  we provide you with information on the very best this world has to offer.  So without further delay here is the Project Hellbeast Guide to Personal Entertainment.

bPOD– Many of you are familar with the portable MP3 player known as the ipod, but did you realize that another product can provide you with hours of entertainment and doesn’t require you to purchase songs or recharge a battery.  This amazing gadget is called the bPOD.  It’s elegantly designed cylindrical shape is one that only nature could come up with.  Simply carry around one of these bPODs and it plays a sort of melodic drone for hours on end.  The real entertainment happens when you get into a crowd of people. All you do is give your bPOD a hard shake and throw it on the ground. That is when the swarm of angry bees that were nesting inside the bPOD comes flying out and stings everyone in sight.  It is certainly the most fun you will have for hours. And since the bees don’t discriminate, you get the full experience every time.  The best thing is that bPods are free and widely available in nature.  Look for all three styles– Yellowjacket, Hornet, and Paper Wasp.  Get yours today!

Antidote treasure hunt–  If you are tired of how predictable most video games have become these days, I recommend the  Antidote treasure hunt.  It consists of getting together with a group of friends, giving one of them the antidote and the rest of you all drinking a slow acting poison.  The fun begins as you have one hour to track down and drink the antidote before any of your friends get to it.  As you drunkenly weave your way through the city, you will test your skills like never before.  There’s nothing like a game where you only get one guy– and it’s YOU.  Forget about collecting points, it’s a free for all mad scramble to get that antidote.  You’ve got nothing to lose but your own life.   And if you win- you get to put your three letter initials  on a poster in the main entrance of Gorduchi’s Pizza on south main– making it totally worth the risk.

Rancor pit-  Home theater systems are getting better every day, but nothing compares to the audio and visual experience of your very own Rankor pit in you house.  Invite your friends over to see it and when one of them walks over the trap door… Wham! You’ve got yourself a complete experience for an evening.  Watch them scream and yell and try to climb up the chute again. If they’re lucky they might be able to wedge a bone in the terrible beast’s mouth, but their reprieve will be only momentary, as the huge beast’s jaws will be able to snap that femur with no problem.  Watch and laugh from your sliding platform.  You can even dress the poor sap’s girlfriend in a gold bikini with a heavy chain bolted to her neck.  It won’t matter because he is a goner.  And you get to sit back and enjoy the show.  The drawbacks to the Rancor pit are the costs associated with constructing the pit and purchasing and keeping the Rancor. But the look of surprise on your friends faces when the are pitted against the six ton killing machine will be totally worth the money.  Yeah piggy, run! hahaha!

Well, there you have it. My top picks for keeping you entertained and the world afraid. Get out there and have some fun.



2 responses

19 03 2008

I always liked playing hot potato with a live grenade. I don’t have any friends left but it was fun while it lasted.

19 03 2008

This comment is the digital equivalent to a flaming bag of dog poo.
Please step closer to that off colored panel on the floor. A little to the left. There you go…


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