Massive Robots with Flamethowers Causing Global Warming

6 05 2008

6 May- Hong Kong.   Scientist have discovered that massive gun-toting robots have been systematically causing global warming.  They say that when the robots battle in major metropolitan areas, the damage they cause increases the amount of greenhouse gasses in the atmosphere.  “Delicate wetlands are being harmed,” said Dr. Price of the Anti Giant Robot League “Not to mention, entire city blocks… I’m mean, c’mon!  My favorite Starbucks was destroyed last week!”  Eyewitness reports say that a new Starbucks emerged in it’s place.

Now what is the effects of all these robots battling for supremacy mean for our world.  Most scientist agree that the battling robots engine exhaust is releasing CO2 which is the culprit behind the gradual rise in global temperature.  Their giant flame cannons, on the other hand,  is a contributing factor in the extremely rapid rise in global temperature.

“We need to reduce our carbon footprint.”  Dr. Price said before being stepped on by a sarcastic robot.  Mike Collins of the Robot Defense institute says that robots only play a small part in Global Warming.  “The real culprit is that Dr. Manticore and his earth warming liquid called Lava,”  Collins said, but right now that just seems like pure speculation.



3 responses

6 05 2008

As a Giant Robot Rights advocate, I must point out that Giant Robots are a part of the natural artificial world and have a right – indeed, a duty – to attack and destroy cities from time to time, especially in Asia. What’s the loss of a few thousand Starbucks here and there in exchange for the naturally artificial beauty of a dozen Shimoneseki-5000A class Giant Robots smashing their way through downtown Singapore?

Alas, Giant Robot flamethrowers are a part of the Giant Robot arsenal, just like plasma swords, beam cannons and of course death rays. Their contribution to Global Warming is negligible compared to such heat emitters as magma and oh my, isn’t that a fun word to say? Magma magma magma magma magma magma magma …

Remember, first they came for the Giant Fire-Spraying Robots, and I did nothing, because I was not a Giant Fire-Spraying Robot …

7 05 2008

Perhaps the rest of the world needs to incorporate Cataclysm police, just like they have in Japan. That way all these disasters can be organized and planned with proper uses of permits to reign terror on the populous. Massive robots are nothing compared to a zombified Rent-a-zilla unleashed on central Tokyo…we are all spineless babies (although being spineless has its advantages – like low injury rates due to being so malleable)

8 05 2008

Hooray for exhaust!!!!

Nobody believed me all this time, its a small robot that lives down there that occasionally exhausts.

Meet C-PU Hemorrhoid the android !


RRRRRRR…….. skreeeeeeech……

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