Where the Weird Things are (with apologies to Maurice Sendak)

18 08 2009

Where the Weird Things are (with apologies to Maurice Sendak)

One day, when Max made trouble of one kind or another, his mother gave him a powerful cocktail of Children’s Nyquil and Ritalin and ordered her Guatemalan nanny Rosa to put him to bed early.  That night a forest began to grow in Max’s room.  His fingers could touch sounds and his feet turned into boats. Which was convenient, because an ocean formed right there in his room as well.
Max sailed on his feet boats on the psychedelic water through the night, in and out of weeks, over a year to the place where the Weird Things are.
The Weird Things melted their terrible fingernails, morphed their terrible armpits, shifted their terrible kneecaps and rolled their terrible eyes out of their skulls.

“I’m freaking out!” Max shouted and tamed all the Weird Things with a magic trick by eating their sugary, fairy-like souls.  “Now,” Max said. “Let the wild trippy rumpus start!” Which got the other Weird Things giggling because “rumpus” is a funny word. Then they ate chicken burritos, Funyons, and watched the Wizard of Oz synced up with Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon.

Then after a while, the drugs began to wear off. So Max sailed away on his feet boats, over a year, in and out of weeks, through the night and back home.  Rosa was there waiting for him because his mom had dinner reservations at Spago, and everybody knows you don’t cancel reservations there– it’s very exclusive and besides, mommy just needs some “me time.”



2 responses

19 08 2009

mmmmm… funyons…..

3 09 2009

hilarious…do you think my school district would have a problem with me reading that in the library instead of the original?

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