Rising Side Concert/CD Release Show

17 06 2008

Rising Side

Essential to any unbalanced mind is driving music to kill by. Get the soundtrack to your latest massacre here and go support the most musical and promising young world domination candidate to come along since… me.

Please go. If I hear you have been insolent, you will suffer the teeth of the grizzly woodchuck.

that is all.

Details are available here.

Bring your Mutant to work day.

3 11 2007

A few notes on our recent “Bring Your Mutant to Work Day”.

While I did feel that overall it was a success (I’m sure Professor Emeritus will agree)  there is a few things I would like to mention as way we can improve it for next year.

1. Keep your mutant on a leash at all times.  I know the whole spirit of the thing is that each employee gets to bring in their favorite mutant and let him cavort and frolic amongst the others, mutants, after all, are dangerous creatures.  And not to point any fingers specifically, but especially if you have an eagelephant, they are much to aggressive to just let run free.  (ahem, Ken Thomson)

2. Clean up after your mutant.  Mutants feeding and frolicing often produce copious amounts of mutant by-product.  Many of the food items were ruined by a few careless mutants. The eagelephant was probably the most aggregious offender.  Please, take care of your beast,   Ken Thomson– this means you.

3. Do not let your mutant breed with any other mutants.   As fun as it may be for your mutant, and as amusing as it is to watch– the tapirmonkey’s attempt with the porcusnake definately had the crowd rolling–  we cannot be responsible for the genetic outcome of the offspring.  We are scientist, albiet evil ones, we still must bear some responsibility for what hideous life we create.  Also, legal department wanted me to mention that any new speices that was created during the “Bring Your Mutant to Work Day”  is the property and copyright of Project Hellbeast and should be turned into Level 8 research immediately.

4. Your own children are not considered mutants.  Taping antlers to your daughter is not actually altering her DNA. If you are actually going to alter your child’s DNA, then that is a different story.  But until that time leave all non-mutants home. Bring them in on Family day instead– thats why we have it.

Lets try to keep these rules in mind next year and have another great Bring Your Mutant to Work Day.

(Ken Thomson– Please report to personnel.)

Project Hell Beast Update

2 11 2007

Thank You Socrates, 

As many of you are aware, much of my work in the early years had been focused on belnding and modifying the muliple animal species into a human “super species.” However after a number of horifying creature were produced, (Olsen twins, a certain Bounty Hunter, and the cast of Grey’s Anatomy) I deemed this practice to be detrimental to the better practices of the profession. So began my work in the secretive science of mutant genetic animal creation.  

But enough of the past. I would like to thank Professor Socrates for bringin me to his lab after my previous employer suffered an untimely demise at the tiny hands of a wiley sharcoon-porcubat. I promise to welcome all new ideas as long as they are my own.